Maya Tapas Grill

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Spanish-style-ish tapas place in the Lincoln Road Mall, Miami Beach. Lured in by the over-dressed cleave-sporting hostesses speaking broken English and talking up the 2 for 1 happy hour, we decided to stop for a bite (mostly because we were hungry and almost out of restaurants until the theater).

What we had:

Rubbery, generic calamari

Carpaccio that wasn't very edible at all, and I'm glad we were dining by candlelight, since the meat had so much lemon juice it had ceviche-d.

Huge cold cuts platter (which we didn't order--we actually order the big ass cheese, fruit & meat platter which was more expensive) with okay-quality meats. The serrano ham was pretty good, the mortadella was decent, the rest was generic.

and a chickpea and chorizo dish in a little cermic low bowl thing, which was pretty decent if a bit bland.

D├ęcor:

Burgundy everywhere and candlelight.

Service:
Oppressive. The busboys/waiter assistants/whatever hadn't perfected the art of inconspicuous hovering and lept straight for the fingers on the bread plate before asking if they could take it level. Woe be to you if you don't want water, either. Hide the glasses!

Overall impressions:

We were so lied to. Maybe we didn't understand the hostess in the din of street traffic, or maybe it was her accent, but we totally didn't get the 2 for 1 special. Our dinner ended up costing roughly around $60. $30, okay. Won't do it again, but not horrible. $60, total ripoff.

I can't find them on either Google (sans ad) or any company website. Just as well.

Rating:

2 out of 5 salamanders (a ripoff, but edible)

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