Bu's Beachfront Grill

Typical beachside dive bar & grill with no "theme".

What we had:

Grouper fingers and a french dip. The grouper fingers were straight off the Sysco truck. Not good at all, and there was a whole basketful of them. I think my DH's sandwich was decent. I didn't taste it. His fries were edible.

Décor:

We ate outside. It's right on the boardwalk, so it's a good place to people-watch and stare at the surf (if you can see around the tacky beer flags).

Service:

Terrible. The large-chested girl that waited on us in beachwear was pretty much absent the whole time, and the owners periodically came out to gripe at each other about drama between them and the either the restaurant on the other side of the building, or the bar up the street.

Overall impressions:

A total waste of a meal. I would rather eat at McDonald's. There are way too many good-smelling, interesting places to eat further down the boardwalk (we parked at the Oceanside Mall and this was the first place we saw that looked easy and simple). At least it wasn't Jimmy Buffett-themed. There is that.

Company website; what Google says

Rating:

2 out of 5 salamanders

Andiamo!

Excited pizza in North Miami Beach located in the 55th street station (a few hipster-style restaurants and a boutique in the middle of Miami's version of urban sprawl)

What we had:

A pie with meatballs all over; half egglplant, half pepperoni. The crust was perfectly done (New York style thin and crispy), the cheese was abundant and fresh and the toppings were really good. I think a human actually made the meatballs. The eggplant wasn't fried, either. The topping selection is also impressive, and fresh. The sauce was nice and light, too, with a bright flavor. The menu is pretty extensive, with a large selection of decently-priced specialty pizzas, salads, paninis, philly steak & cheese sandwiches and beer.

Décor:

We saw this place while driving to the beach last weekend, and I fell in love with the architecture. It's grey, arch-y and has neat chairs out front. Sometimes picking a place to eat because it's pretty is a good plan. Luckily, this was one of those times.

Service:

Decent.

Overall impressions:

So far, it's our favorite pizza in town.

Company website; what Google says

Rating:

4 out of 5 salamanders

Latin American Bayside Cafe

Great latino food overlooking the water... what more could you ask for?

What we had:

We had 2 versions of Cuban sandwich. The regular on a regular Cuban roll and the midnight on a sweet Cuban roll. Neither of us are sure which bread was the best. The sweet complimented the perfectly cooked pork nicely, while the regular offered a nice crunch. Both were great.

Décor:

See the first line. What more could you want?

Service:

Good service.

Overall impressions:

We will definitely be back. The food was really good, and the menu was huge. There was also a live band starting up in the stage area of the mall/boardwalk/whatever, and that was great.

What Google says

Rating:

3 out of 5 salamanders

Miss Yip Chinese Cafe

At last, the very next day, my faith in humanity was restored. I might like to run away with Miss Yip and her tasty tasty dim sums.

What we had:

We had to order more, it was so good. We started off with the vegetable wontons and the Mama Yip platter (both dim sum). The vegetable wontons (fried) were so good, we almost cried. The Mama Yip had a little of everything--pork dumplings so good you wanted to swim in them, the best shrimp dumplings I've ever had (I think better than in San Francisco's China Town even), mushroom dumplings (I loved them) and vegetable dumplings (those kicked ass, too)--all steamed. We then had to order the pan-fried pork dumplings, which were also amazing.

Décor:

Nice old downtown-style building meets classy Chinese meets pinups. Fantabulous.

Service:

Good service.

Overall impressions:

I want to run away with Miss Yip. Or move in. Whichever. I'm considering moving near the convention center, just so I can order delivery.

Company website; what Google says

Rating:

4 out of 5 salamanders

Miccosukee Restaurant

Micco-suck-ass restaurant is more like it.

What we had:

I'll start out with the good. The fry bread was great. The fries didn't make me want to cry. My DH's microwaved sausage dog was edible. Now for the rest: The steak sandwich was in-freakin-edible. I managed to choke one bite down, but just barely. I really think it was horse. Cow doesn't taste like that. I haven't had a meal that bad in a long long time. The slaw might have been poisonous. It had some weird-ass sweet thing going on that was barf-enducing.

Décor:

Cheap plastic tables overlooking the everglades.

Service:

Terrible. The waiter did the entire tribe a disservice. He upheld every negative stereotype I've heard (minus drunk) about native americans. I didn't even want to stop in the visitor center next door to learn more about the tribe and the ongoing war. Maybe that was it. Maybe the cook is slowly trying to poison vacationers.

Overall impressions:

My faith in humanity was dampened by that lunch.

I'm not even looking it up. Suffice it to say, don't go. The crap-shack is directly across the street from Shark Valley in the Everglades.

Rating:
1 out of 5 salamanders

Jalsico's Tex Mex Something or Other

Strip-mall TexMex

What we had:

I ordered the carnitas taco with pineapple. The cook said the pork wasn't good, so I got fish tacos. They were okay. Not great, and not something I'd like again. My DH had some humongous burrito thing that was smothered in cheese. The beans were hideous. I'll admit, we're spoiled, but they were straight outta the can.

Décor:

A strip mall in Sunny Isles...

Service:

I kind of felt bad for the guy. He knew maybe 20 words in English, and the cook was really really really slow. You could tell he felt bad.

Overall impressions:

Meh. Not great.

I can't even find it on Google.

Rating:

2 out of 5 salamanders

Hiro Sushi Express

Sushi/Japanese take-out and delivery. Big bonus: you can order online.

What we had:

I had the eel-topped California Roll: Crab, cucumber, avocado & masago, topped with unagi.
Crunch & Caliente Roll: Spicy salmon, shrimp, scallion, avocado and tempura flake outside.
Conch Fritter appetizer
The eel was very tender, and the spicy roll was actually spicy. The sushi here is great.
My DH had the Yaki Udon with Chicken: Stir-fried noodles with chicken and vegetables. The udon was pretty tasteless. No seasoning whatsoever.

Décor:

Our living room

Service:

It took 55 minutes to be delivered.

Overall impressions:

The Japanese dinner was not great, but the sushi hit the spot. We would definitely order from here again, even though it took 55 minutes to get here.

Company website; what Google says

Rating:

3 out of 5 salamanders