Miccosukee Restaurant

Micco-suck-ass restaurant is more like it.

What we had:

I'll start out with the good. The fry bread was great. The fries didn't make me want to cry. My DH's microwaved sausage dog was edible. Now for the rest: The steak sandwich was in-freakin-edible. I managed to choke one bite down, but just barely. I really think it was horse. Cow doesn't taste like that. I haven't had a meal that bad in a long long time. The slaw might have been poisonous. It had some weird-ass sweet thing going on that was barf-enducing.


Cheap plastic tables overlooking the everglades.


Terrible. The waiter did the entire tribe a disservice. He upheld every negative stereotype I've heard (minus drunk) about native americans. I didn't even want to stop in the visitor center next door to learn more about the tribe and the ongoing war. Maybe that was it. Maybe the cook is slowly trying to poison vacationers.

Overall impressions:

My faith in humanity was dampened by that lunch.

I'm not even looking it up. Suffice it to say, don't go. The crap-shack is directly across the street from Shark Valley in the Everglades.

1 out of 5 salamanders